Guest Blogger - Eleanora Magri - The Secret to Taking Better Care of Others - Part 1

The Secret to Taking Better Care of Others: Take Care of Yourself

If you are a caregiver for a neurodivergent individual, this might resonate: “I take care of everyone else—except me.”

Does that sound familiar?

You are not alone.

Caregivers often forget about their own needs. It is easy to get lost in the overwhelming responsibilities of caring for someone else. But the truth is **not caring for yourself first has consequences**—not just for you, but also for the person you are caring for.

Many caregivers do not realize how crucial their self-care is, or they do not know where to begin. The result? A cycle of burnout, fatigue, and a decline in both physical and emotional well-being.

The Emotional Toll: What You’re Feeling Is Real

Let’s be real. Being a parent and being a caregiver feels hard because it is hard. Caring for a neurodivergent individual without first addressing your own needs is even harder, like swimming against a strong current. It leaves you feeling frustrated, exhausted, and overwhelmed.

You may even doubt your worth and feel guilt for simply thinking about tending to your own needs.

Because you’re juggling so much, it’s normal to feel beaten down by it all.

Unfortunately, these feelings won’t go away on their own.

The Trap: The Hidden Cost of Ignoring Your Needs

Imagine this: You continue putting everyone else first–you sacrifice eating, sleeping, and taking time to recharge. You’re always on high alert.

But what does that cost you?

…physical, mental, and emotional stress–day after day, month after month, year after year.

Physically, chronic stress leads to feeling depleted and tired most of your waking moments. Unrelieved physical stress impairs your immune system, leading to physical conditions—heart disease, high blood pressure, and more.

Mentally and emotionally, chronic stress brings anxiety, depression, and feeling disconnected. When you’re running on empty, it’s harder to make good decisions or connect emotionally with those you love.

If you don’t care for yourself, how can you fully care for others?

The Breakthrough: Honoring Yourself First

Taking care of yourself first isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. Think of it like an oxygen mask on an airplane—you need to put yours on first before helping others. The same goes for caregiving.

But breaking the habit of always putting yourself last can be hard. Many caregivers feel like sacrificing their needs is just part of the job. But that’s not true.

Imagine what it would be like if you made self-care a priority, if you let go of the guilt and accept that caring for yourself is necessary to caring better for others.

For the next 10 seconds, imagine that you could not feel guilty or neglectful about putting your well-being first…

…now imagine this: What would your experience of life be like for you and your loved ones?

The Solution: Start Small, One Step at a Time

At this point, you may feel pressure to make big changes all at once. You might even feel the urge to stop reading because the idea of adding one more “To-Do” feels SO overwhelming.

Resist the urge.

Instead, start with small, simple acts of self-care, even if it feels strange and unfamiliar at first.

Taking these few minutes to read this article is already a positive start!

Consider this… what is one simple, meaningful act of self-care you could do today?

Whatever you choose today, give yourself permission to put on your oxygen mask first and act on that act of self-care.

And here are three simple steps to help you along the way:

STEP 1: Schedule a brief 'self-care appointment' with yourself, even if it’s just 5 or 10 minutes.

STEP 2: Honor that commitment—keep your word to yourself.

STEP 3: Once you've completed your self-care, take a moment to acknowledge yourself for putting on your oxygen mask first!

Toward a Healthier You and a Deeper Connection With Your Loved Ones

When you make self-care a priority, everything shifts—not just for you, but for everyone around you.

You’re likely to find yourself with more energy, clearer focus, and greater emotional presence.

And that empowers you to connect more deeply with your loved ones, make more thoughtful decisions, and experience more meaningful interactions.

All it takes is to give yourself permission to care for the caregiver within, just as you care for those around you. When you thrive, so does your caregiving, and so do the people you care for.

…and if you’re ready to take this step, I invite you to join the Inclusi community, a free online space dedicated to supporting caregivers like you in making self-care a top priority. Let’s walk this journey together—share your experiences, find encouragement, and connect with others who understand the challenges you face. Join us in the Inclusi community; you don’t have to do this alone!

Eleonora Magri, MA, BCBA, is a board-certified behavior analyst and the founder of the INCLUSI Community, a free online community created to support caregivers like you in making self-care a top priority. Learn more about the INCLUSI community where you can also explore resources like the Caring for the Caregiver Self-Care Assessment, that helps you identify where best to focus your valuable time and energy.